Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! And all that jazz... It's quite interesting to think that the world seems to stop for Christmas. But  then I think, is it for the right reasons? Today I have had the pleasure of meeting up with my Dad's family, and enjoying glorious food and their company. There's nothing like a little bit of Christmas cheer to bring us all together! Although, i find it strange that we take this time each year to see family that we don't normally see. If we don't see them during the year, why now? Why force traditions? Do we do it because that's just what we always have done?

Personally, I think its because there's something special sharing a meal and time with people you care about. Think about it- what was Jesus' last meeting/celebration with his disciples? The Last Supper?

I know my Christmas(es) have always been challenging in a sense, trying to navigate between extended and "step" family- trying to see everyone on the one day of the year we are meant to see everyone- but it really took today to show me to look past it. I tell you a secret- I normally dread Christmas time, because it's always a battle between my parent's families etc. But today, it was such a beautiful thing- to have my Grandma, two uncles, my sister and Dad all share a few hours together! We sat and nibbled wonderful entre creations created by Heather, I  organised some mocktails/cocktails and we all sat down and enjoyed the traditional Christmas lunch... (ham, turkey, chicken... !) Then of course dessert....

But then, I think about why we are doing all this. Jesus. It's often a word that doesn't get mentioned at this time because it's politically incorrect.. But isn't it CHRISTmas?

I think that it's a honour to be able to sit down and celebrate Jesus' birthday with the people we love- and be allowed to have this freedom to do so... How lucky are we?

I work in a pharmacy, and you would be amazed at the increase of scripts for Valium that have come in the closer we get to Christmas. Sometimes it can all seem too much with relatives, presents, stress, getting everything done, catering for everyone, cooking, shopping.... etc. But I guess I just wanted to encourage you to take the time out- relax!- enjoy this time and join in celebration- because the best thing that ever happened to the world (and my life!) was born today. :)

Merry Christmas!xx

Woo.

Just ordered new business cards ... via www.vistaprint.com.au !

Hello!

Greetings blog! It has been too long!

Life has been crazy, but good, as always... To fill you in. I'm taking a gap year and I have been working full time for the last three weeks... COMPLETELY different lifestyle, but i'm getting used to it. So now I am a pharmacy assistant for two pharmacies and I am an employed youth leader. Wooot.  Once again, crazy, but good.

I'm also working on my next book- soooo excited! It's working title is called "Sticks & Stones" with illustrations by the wonderful Rachel Carroll. Stay tuned for more info! I've also had two exhibitions in the last few weeks that I have spoken at - well opened- with a poetry reading. You should definitely check out Cheralyn Darcey's exhibition while it is still open- just google her name! And also, "Reflections" at Dank St, Waterloo... by the amazing Rachel Carroll, Matt Weatherstone, Cade Turner and Meredith Woolnough. Incredible.

At "Reflections" I actually read aloud my first sonnet... It was a strange experience because I used the "Shakespearian" form- and to read out a sonnet based on the writer I admire was a tricky thing. I hope I did it justice! I chose to read my first sonnet because it seemed to capture the essence of the exhibition- "reflections"- because it was exactly that.  A reflection. (s). xx

On a roll!

Hello long lost blog, how I have missed your musings! I am quite excited about this new chapter of my life, and it should probably be a good thing to document it. So here is the documentation? xx

Musings

Oh life.. how you seem to differ in every shape and form...

I find it amusing reflecting on my world view of what life was about when i was 14 or 15...  And how reality differs...
Or something along those lines anyway.

These are simply words, musings of a twenty something university student with a double major in psychology and english.

Unfortunately, we aren't all going to save the world.. but participate.

Long lost blog

Greetings blog.. It appears I have not updated you in a long while! I've had many changes of heart in the last few months. On several levels. And of course on several metaphorical levels too.

I am now twenty- in my next decade- bring it on ;)

Goodmorning university

And so, uni is in swing again! How wonderful, the amazing rat race of academia has begun for the second time this year. I'm trying to have a timetable and stick to it, so I can stay on top of things... Because my goal is to raise my grade average... I suppose I had a bit of  a rocky start to university, but now I'm trying to make the most of it.

On that note, I am tiiiiired. Early starts : /

Nothing really that exiting to write here... ! Discovered that the most important thing to a relationship, by DR A R Bernard, is to "Get a Life". Woooooo.

Anyway good bye!

Dedication

Hi Spyro!

*waves*

Slight Angst.. This is what happens when I listen to emotional rock music. Yes, I stil do have A LOT of teenage angst.

Go on without me
at your side,
please,

do
go on.

You know it's easier
to pretend
to
forget
and not remember
everything and anything
just
blink and i'll be gone

memories are a
bad trip,
anyway,
you mumble
as you choke on
your metaphoric cocaine
you'll hang on to emotions
rather than me
any day,

go on,
just walk away.

bullets words,
but bad aim,
any way.

Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

P a s s i n g T h r o u g h

t r a n s i e n t pleasures

        static

in the rain

the sky g r i e v e s

another passing
    
     of day

     drops
   
    in
  
    reflect
    -ion

deja vu dreams

                   (the same you've had before)

 flowing

tears drumming

the pavement:

        a tightly tuned skin

        where touch

    releases harmony

in resonance;

       peace.

e=m©²

W e d n e s d a y s

George street city slum

migratory cars in turn of the a(la)rms

of five o'clock time to go

home and dodge pedestrians

(100 points if you get the guy

            who keeps trying to clean

            the windscreen)

wednesday's tip the week

            t   h   r   o   w

 scales to believing

            there is escape

two more days to two days more

            of respite,

and teenage love affairs at workplace parties,

late twenty-somethings looking for meaning

in sex-on-the-beach

            giggling to bartender for more

phone numbers smudged

 (names forgotten)

            just call me bill

and he'll call me easy

            -er said  than

done with looking for meaning

between sheets

stuck in traffic

            again

mind wanders to

wednesdays

            pay days

week

        end(s).

e=m©²

My siblings have both called me weird in the last 24 hours.

I'm on holidays and my mind is still running around in circles.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Glen Hansard - Say it to Me Now

Listen for the whisper

"The LORD said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.'

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

1 Kings 19:11-12

Sometimes it's about listening for the right voice...

Ken Lee - Bulgarian Idol (WITH ENGLISH TRANSLATION)

Bunch like some paper...

As politely as I can say this, screw you. 
Screw everything.
Apparently I only need to exist to you when required.

And that's enough of that, I shouldn't waste my breath on these things.

Dreams

Sometimes I wish I had someone to curl up into a ball with.

News Flash...

I'm not doing these exams

      they are doing me.

Thought of the day.

** News Updates **

• I finally bit the bullet and went for my driving test. I now have my P1 license (woooo!) but no car to drive. 
• We now have a female prime minister. Girl Power? Does it matter that she is female and has red hair? Did we care what colour Kevin Rudd's hair was?
• I am literally hanging for a holiday. 
• You can now buy free trade organic hot chocolate powder from woolworths. 

****


** An after thought: Probably doesn't apply to general knowledge or the public in general, BUT, I need to do something about my eyebrows. (In lieu with today's prime minister's theme, apparently they appear to be like John Howard's....)

Sanity is optional

When sleep fails, try again, right?

My cupcakes that i tried to bake, from packet, taste disgusting. I've run out of cucake holder things.. patty cases. So i tried baking them in a non stick cupcake tray.

The funeral is going to be at the end of the week, maybe early next week.

I'm drinking lots of tea and praying for sanity.

Collective conformity blues

It seems that everyone I know currently studying at university is going slightly insane. In a strange way, it still does not make me feel any better in my feelings of insanity during exam period. Not that all my feelings of insanity are derived from this phenomenon, but still, I would have thought that some comfort would have come from uniformity. Or conformity. That is the norm. Apparently.

I've been trying to force myself to be creative but it hasn't been working... Got to love writer's block. Maybe it has been induced by low seretonin levels.

On a side note, I haven't had pear and raspberry bread for ages.

"Envoi" By Kathleen Raine

Take of me what is not my own,
my love, my beauty, and my poem-
the pain is mine, and mine alone.

See how against the weight in the bone
the hawk hangs perfect in mid-air-
the blood pays dear to raise it there,
the moment, not the bird, divine.

And see the peaceful trees extend
their myriad leaves in leisured dance-
they bear the weight of the sky and cloud
upon the fountain of their veins.

In rose with petals as soft as air
I bind for you the tides and fire-
the death that lives within the flower,
oh gladly, love, for you I bear!

By Kathleen Raine

life as of today... In the moment

Evaluation

I think everything should have evaluation forms. I like hearing what I've done right, and what I've done wrong.. and I also like filling them out.

Or maybe I am just fascinated with the power of words and how they can shape an individual. Hmm, sounds slighty generic there... or a bit too much like a thesis for a highschool english essay.

For me, self evaluation starts when I begin to plan to rearrange my room. Which I have been doing the last week. But I think it's a form of self reconstruction. A few friends have walked into my room saying that they've never seen it the same way twice. Which is probably true- a book never stays in one place long. And I'm always dragging my bed to another wall/corner.

Maybe it has been apparent all this time.. but it appears I do not like things to be locked, or set in stone. Especially when it comes down to furniture arrangements. Oh, and career paths.

Together Exhibition Invite

Hope to see you all there- it's quite exciting! :)

Sure.

Got to love a bit of salt in the wound.

Morning haze

I have come to love the mornings where I wake up, half awake and half asleep, in what you could call a sleep haze. For brief moments you can experience the feeling of being anything and everything. And then the cogs of consciousness start turning... back to reality.

Teenage heart -throb gone musician

It's always such a great feeling when you discover that a teenage obsession has actually become a great musician. This moment does not come often, so I'd like to take this opportunity to savour this moment.

---

Matt Corby! Yes, he was the teenage heart-throb of Australian Idol and nearly made it on my wall, next to Ewan. And that is saying something... Not many people come close to that honour. With that behind me, he has emerged as a grounded musician-fresh from the UK with an debut album. And of course, supporting Mumford & Sons at the end of June is a great start! I am really regretting not purchasing those tickets now.. He's looking better than ever, and his music is sounding pretty good too...

Also on the music scene, the band Oh Ye Denver Birds have come to my attention! Check out their song "Walls", it reminds me of Grizzly Bear.. but not.

All these music revelations are thanks to the bus this morning being stuck in traffic, due to the drizzly Sydney weather, and tuning into fbi radio. :)

Hault

Sometimes when you're forced to stop
 it all make sense.
     Somehow.

Together Exhibition

A teaser for the up and coming exhibition "Together" for the ARt Tree :)
For the first time I'm going to be framed and on the wall... Slightly nervous, but it will be fun !

Like a duck to water...

I just spilt tea on my duck feather doona... I'm hoping as the saying goes "like water off a duck's back" is applicable here. Sorry duck feathers.

People came and visited me  yesterday afternoon, which was really lovely. I think it was the longest time I'd spent out of bed the whole week! But as a consequence, I have no energy now. I'm really over this being sick thing... Oh well, I am getting better, slowly, so that's the main thing.

I'd also like to make an ode to my dog at the moment... He has been awesome, and deserves a mention. Here is an ode, in picture form :

He has kept me company and kept me warm. Love you Denver !

"This is my first time, be gentle with me"- Stark- Ironman

Mmm.. got to love the taste of ventolin - I admit, I am a first time user. So it keeps hitting my tongue, rather than the back of my throat... still gets down into the airways though. It's nice to be able to breathe! I've literally spent since Monday in bed, I have a lung infection or something. People keep saying to me - "Wow, extra time to write!"- but I haven't had the energy. It's sleep, eat, maybe read... oh, the essential facebook update.. and that's about it. It was quite amusing, last night I had a temperature (not funny at the time!) and I was speaking to myself.. talking about turtles and that I needed to shave my armpits. I thought it was very logical, but on reflection talking to yourself at 1 am in the morning about these things, even if it's me, is slightly concerning.

But never fear! I am slowly getting better. They took my blood today and put it in tobasco bottles. True story. Apparently they put in there with other stuff in it, and whatever grows is what bacteria is in my blood. Kinda creepy, but it would be bad if was accidently put on a table... DELICIOUS!

Anyway, this is where I am at, dear blog.. Let's not think of uni work that needs to be caught up on..

Press Play

1. Wake up by Arcade Fire

2. With Whiskey by Tunng

3. Hope In The Air by Laura Marling

4. Rootless Tree by Damien Rice

5. Banquet by Bloc Party

6. I live with you by Grizzly Bear

7. Easy Chair by Yoav

A Big Autumn Greeting!

Email sent out :)

Time for beanies, scarves and hot chocolates... it must be autumn! Cafes, blankets, crisp mornings and the dread of jumping from carpet to cold tiles.... Due to this change in season, it sprung to mind that I should begin a mailing list – to let you know what's going on in the poetry world! I discovered a new feature in my email account that could hack into facebook and import my facebook contact's details (high tech for me, let me tell you!), so let me know if you'd like to be included/discluded from this list.

Recently, the artist Cade Turner asked me to open his first solo exhibition “Light + Colour + Movement” with a poem at Gallery Red in Glebe. I was really inspired by Cade's work- how he captured movement in a still photograph- and the poem “Shutter” was birthed ! I've attached a copy to this update, I was honoured to have it on the program. If you get a chance, check out his website and look at his amazing photography (viewing them on the computer screen doesn't do them justice!) and then have a read of “Shutter”- I hoped to capture what he did in his photographs. It was also an advancement in a new style- a“visually inclined” poem, very much a response to Marinetti's work. (I'll let you discover Marinetti and the futurist movement on your own.. it's at least another email in itself!)

Coming up with the Art Tree Group is another local exhibition- so stay tuned for further details.

I'm looking forward to the coming months and I hope you enjoy whichever season you find yourself in!

Emily

e=m©²

Yoav - Yellowbrite Smile

e

Loving this song :)

there

to be
there
in a place
of non space or existence

there.

in moments occuring yesterday
and in between.

there.

is where you'll find me.

waiting for
tomorrow's rain,
blessing,
sacrifices.

there not here.
here not there.

time in popcorn packets
ready to go
two minutes to serve.

there.

Call you when the music is through...

So, I've been a plus one twice this week. Well, my next plus one is tomorrow. Interesting concept, "can you be my plus one?" . Addition to make the person look good? It's kind of nice to be asked, but still a bit odd. It's like being given the title of signifcant friend of the opposite sex.

Hopefully seeing Iron man 2 tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to even finish this essay. Due tomorrow.. haven't started. Oh, Em, get yourself together.

All will come together, for what it seems will seem to be.

Ex

I'm the ex.

Thanks for the reminder. 

Before this moment.

experience extra excluded exciting existential existing experienced exuberant extra excess exanimate exhanged exhausted extra excetra excuse excusable excuses exhibition extended expensive expulsive expected exasperation

 

So, there was a Volvo and four friend-of-a-friends...

Sometimes silence is golden. After a wonderful night of pizza and a painted view of the Mediteranean, this morning lying in bed, I do not feel the need for music. It is as it is.

There haven't been many moments in my life were I've felt invincible... but somehow driving around in an old volvo blasting a friend-of-a-friend's ipod on shuffle on roads that are normally jammed packed in peak hour but were abandoned at 9pm... i felt it. From Regina Specktor to Michael Jackson covering the Beatles- the beauty of shuffle had never been so apparent.

So now as I lay here, with my dog 'shrewn' across my legs, with recollections of bad italian accents, cheesecake, a particular English accent, quirky shoes and non-existent long blacks- silence is golden. Because it allows a little of the past seep into moments of the present- living twice!.

Laura Marling - Devil's Spoke Official Video

This song... was like everything was a dream..!

Tea time

And so, in times as such as these, I tend to fall back to 'the blog'. Oh, and who can forget the angsty music to go in conjunction with this mood? Such a cliche. But it works for an emotional outlet. :)

I do realise that the smiley face that I just did does contradict the 'angst' of the moment, but I shall leave it there. Smiley faces will change the world one day.

So, my insight into this situation- I think I'll refer myelf to a previous blog. About shutting doors. And keeping them closed. Locked even. It's just a surprise when they swing open unexpectently...

Moments like these deserve a cup of tea or coffee. And that is what I shall do!

Shadows

As we all do, or I hope we all do, I googled my name. Apart from being a famous women's cricket player, I found an article that I wrote in 2008 for my old high school. Oh, the memories!

Damien Rice - Cold Water

Rediscovered this song this morning on itunes.. I remember the first time I heard it, I was sitting on a bus, listening to Damien Rice's album. I can't quite capture what it is, but I love this song... it's hauntingly beautiful.

Angus and Julia Stone - Draw Your Swords

There's something beautiful about this song!

Slight language warning...

(And don't mind the fact that it was featured on Grey's anatomy... It was the best link to the song!)

I've grown rather fond of italics...

To the right of me I have a green lined post it, pinned to a stack of items on my desk. It reads "My ex-boyfriend gave me this post it." And I think that summaries the abrupt but strange reality I am experiencing. Life feels surreal; but I am enjoying it. It's almost like I'm in a dream.

But of course, I am not. Because in my dreams, I woudn't be procrastinating by writing a blog, I would have finished my 2300 word essay worth 55%.

But it's a fascinating thought: What if we were all to wake up tomorrow?  Or what if we had all lulled ourselves into dream, yesterday? Time, reality, perception. All challenged and changed by one thing: me.

Sometimes reality has a bite. Or a punch. That's sweet but electrifying.

An Invitation

You are invited to come and see Cade Turner's AMAZING first solo exhibition!

Official Invite

I'll be reading a poem especially written for the event! Would love to see you there! He is an impressionist photographer... let your mind be boggled!

Universal Truths

Sometimes you need to learn the hard way. About yourself, about others, about life. But what can be the hardest lesson of all, is that when you see something the way it is. And what is even more startling, the realisation that follows- that it always was. It's truly amazing what we learn to see is actually what we want to see.

The truth in vision, in reality, is always a curveball. Perception is a funny thing; it both excels and hinders us. Binds us together, pulls us apart. Big picture compared to tunnel vision. The question we all have to answer: What is it that we want to see? What is it that we want to dream?

And can we face the gaps in between perception and reality?

Lesson for the day: doors shut for a reason. Don't try to peer through the keyhole or linger in the doorway. Find another door, step into that path.


And don't forget to dream. Take each step as it comes, make sure you take the step, little by little. Enjoy the ride.

So long..

It's nearly been three months since I've posted a blog.

Been loving Mumford & Sons' album.

Uni is uni...

Change is change. I've learnt to ride the waves life gives you- and if you go under, then you'll end up washed up on shore. Then it's time to jump on your board, and get back in there. 

I have an exhibition opening coming up where I am reciting poetry :). Check out www.cadeturner.com.au. Click on news...


And I need to start a website. :)

Questionable desires

I often wonder about the mysteries of 'oneself'. As in, how do we get an eternal longing for a bigmac when we are emotionally distraught? Or should I say, how do i get an eternal longing for a bigmac when i am emotionally distraught? Possibly the words 'emotionally distraught' may be used in exaggeration here, but I find it rather amusing. That my body's answer to life's problems is.... a medium bigmac meal. Maybe my subconscious has been brainwashed with nineteen years of advertising and "I'm loving it" Justin Timberlake campaigns. A sad thought. 

Nevertheless, every now and then, I get a craving for a medium bigmac meal. Ironically, with a bottle of water, never coke. So I suppose, the water cancels out the bigmac and fries? Theoretically yes.

But once again, the question is left, how does one crave a bigmac? Or have this desire to consume such an entity? It's quite pathetic really, that the human condition has developed a coping mechanism to solve any emotional difficulties by shoving ones face with a heart-attack-waiting-to-happen. Would it be the same if one day I woke up, and felt like 99% fat free strawberry youghurt on bran flakes??  I digress.

australia day

Happy australia day! Whatever that implies.. for most australians, i suppose the 26th of january is about bbq's, lamb and 'vb'. I'd like to add that i despise VB (beer) and at this very moment i choose to drink james squire's golden ale. Very refreshing....
Triple j's hottest 100 is almost finished as well... My sister's listening in her room, Kieran is playing a game with Rory (computer orientated). And some how i'm left to contemplate life's wonders and mysteries, the metaphysics of john donne, and the realms of myself, by myself....

Another Vice

I've been living off these the last two months.

I highly recommend them! (Click on the pic for more info.!)

Woolworths fruit juice section, on sale for $2.69.

Bargain!

My favourite is 'Pink Lady!'

Paradox

So- i've found a paradox in modern living. Are you ready for this? It's probably well known to everyone, and it's taken me this long to realise. But, the more money I seem to earn, the more 'things' i have to pay for. Dentist, doctors etc. Where as when I did not earn as much, these things were covered... by my family? I'm not sure. So the more money I earn, the more I have to spend, so logically, would it be better to earn less and 'live' less? I suppose it's independence for you.

But don't get me started on the dentist.

Limits

I've just been hit with the strangest thought- what if life was meant to be lived like this? In creative whims, floating on thoughts and relying on them for directions. I'm in this incredible headspace, which feels slightly dangerous, but has lead me from being a poet to an installation artist. Long story.

But then there is always the notion of reality. Is it sustainable to be living like this? Will it ultimately lead me to my demise?

Such questions and thoughts. But I like it.

Return

Greetings. I have returned to my love of blogging! I am quite disheartened though. I upset my secret santa.. and now he/she has not contacted me. It's not about the present- it's more the fact that I do not know who they are, and it's nearly been a month since Christmas and I do not know who they are. I DO NOT KNOW WHO THEY ARE! So, someone from my group of friends at highschool is secretly plotting against me. A very encouraging thought to keep me asleep at night. And what's worse, is that I've pictured all of them in santa suits. With beards. And I can not pick who is mine.

In other news, I've found love. Seriously. I was in cloud nine for the hours following this venture. So, I plug San Churro @ Glebe on Glebe Point Rd, and a big thanks to Skye for sharing it with me. Will share the details and contact information in a later post.

You should also check out Regina Spektor's album "Songs", I've been living and breathing the song "Samson" - (N.B.- this version is slower and more 'acoustic' than the version off her latest album. And it's my favourite. I recently got into a disagreement with my boyfriend about which one was better. Without being too bias about his music taste, I can understand why he likes the newer version, as he is [dare i say it] a fan of *cough taylor swift cough*, and it is more 'pop'ish than her earlier stuff. Not that I can really make this judgment, but take a listen! Any Regina is better than none!)

I must leave you on this note, as it is now 12:24 AM, and I must try and maintain some sense of a sleeping pattern.