Extract from "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis

"Besides being complicated, reality, in my experience, is usually odd. It is not neat, not obvious, not what you expect. For instance, when you have grasped that the earth and the other planets all go round the sun, you would naturally expect that all the planets were made to match- all at equal distances from each other, say, or distances that regularly increased, or all the same size, or else getting bigger or smaller as you go further from the sun. In fact, you find no rhyme or reason (that we can see) about either the sizes or the distances; and some of them have one moon, on has four, one has two, some have non, and one has a ring.

Reality, in fact, is usually something you could not have guessed. That is one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It is a religion you could not have guessed. If it offered us just the kind of universe we had always expected, I should feel we were making it up. But, in fact, it is not the sort of thing anyone would have made up. It has just that queer twist about it that real things have. So let us leave behind all these boys' philosophies- these over-simple answers. The problem is not simple and the answer is not going to be simple either."


Extract from "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis, First Published 1952, this extract from C.S. Lewis Signature Classics Edition, published 2002, pp.41-42

Reunions & Goodbyes

Stumbling through a sea of changed faces can sometimes be exhausting...

Let me explain..

Today I attended a reunion and it made me feel quite uneasy... Not with the people,  but within myself- I think sometimes is hard to acknowledge the change in yourself by your past reflections.

REALISATION ONE: PEOPLE ARE DYNAMIC, CHANGING BEINGS


Old faces change. People loose and put on weight. Get married. Move house. Starts Ti Chi. Discover vanilla lattes.

Every day we move and adapt to our surroundings. How much are we shaped by our circumstances?

Coffee or no coffee? Mood and self regulation. A constant, changing state.


REALISATION TWO: RELATIONSHIPS & EXPECTATIONS CHANGE


If 'self' changes so radically from day to day, from environment to environment, surely anything connected with another 'self' would have to be managed with this in mind.

Do we shrink or grow? Push or shove? Give or take?

If you're stagnant in expectations & self, what are the nature of your relationships?


REALISATION THREE: THINGS CAN GET MESSY


The subheading says it all, really.


REALISATION FOUR: BUT.... DON'T PANIC.


I'm in the same boat as everyone else.

I have stuff, you have stuff, we all have stuff.

Not quite the 'radical acceptance' theory , but it's learning what stuff to keep and what stuff to throw over board.

Which stuff to acknowledge and foster, which stuff to put out with the trash.

We choose the stuff which gets melded into oars and rudder for direction and control.

I choose whether to use the oars and rudder, and that choice governs my direction & communication.


AND NUMBER FIVE:


Sometimes you've just got to go with it.



xx

Morning haze

I have come to love the mornings where I wake up, half awake and half asleep, in what you could call a sleep haze. For brief moments you can experience the feeling of being anything and everything. And then the cogs of consciousness start turning... back to reality.

I've grown rather fond of italics...

To the right of me I have a green lined post it, pinned to a stack of items on my desk. It reads "My ex-boyfriend gave me this post it." And I think that summaries the abrupt but strange reality I am experiencing. Life feels surreal; but I am enjoying it. It's almost like I'm in a dream.

But of course, I am not. Because in my dreams, I woudn't be procrastinating by writing a blog, I would have finished my 2300 word essay worth 55%.

But it's a fascinating thought: What if we were all to wake up tomorrow?  Or what if we had all lulled ourselves into dream, yesterday? Time, reality, perception. All challenged and changed by one thing: me.

Universal Truths

Sometimes you need to learn the hard way. About yourself, about others, about life. But what can be the hardest lesson of all, is that when you see something the way it is. And what is even more startling, the realisation that follows- that it always was. It's truly amazing what we learn to see is actually what we want to see.

The truth in vision, in reality, is always a curveball. Perception is a funny thing; it both excels and hinders us. Binds us together, pulls us apart. Big picture compared to tunnel vision. The question we all have to answer: What is it that we want to see? What is it that we want to dream?

And can we face the gaps in between perception and reality?

Lesson for the day: doors shut for a reason. Don't try to peer through the keyhole or linger in the doorway. Find another door, step into that path.


And don't forget to dream. Take each step as it comes, make sure you take the step, little by little. Enjoy the ride.

Limits

I've just been hit with the strangest thought- what if life was meant to be lived like this? In creative whims, floating on thoughts and relying on them for directions. I'm in this incredible headspace, which feels slightly dangerous, but has lead me from being a poet to an installation artist. Long story.

But then there is always the notion of reality. Is it sustainable to be living like this? Will it ultimately lead me to my demise?

Such questions and thoughts. But I like it.