Winter days in summer

To be honest, I think that the weather is slightly confused... Apparently, we are in the middle of summer ... Yet it feels like a cool early winter afternoon . Not that I'm complaining, my favourite season is autumn and early spring. I love the colour changes and the snugly clothes. I'm currently wearing my brown boots with jeans and a light cardigan , and of course drinking a cup of tea. Maybe I am destined to live in a colder climate governed by woollen garments and snow days ... It's such an enticing idea. But I do love the variety and spontaneity of Australian weather. You could say it even has personality !

Quite unrelated to this post title, but please enjoy the following quote by Roald Dahl, in which I acquired off Pinterest .. See my profile on Pinterest to get its source :) x

Actual Update

Well, I hope you have been enjoying my almost daily musical updates.. It's not that i've had nothing to write about, it's merely not having the time to write about it.
Today was the last day of semester! Hooray! But alas it means exams will be just around the corner.. in under a week... I think university just keeps getting more and more intense as you progress. At my uni we need to do two subjects outside our main area so we leave as 'more rounded' students. So this semester, i did astrobiology. (FYI- the search for life on other planets, yep, I went there....!). A couple of days ago i finished an assessment on planning a mission to one of Jupiter's moons (Europa- which i did not know existed until about 2 months ago!).. and this was from an english major. o.0
In other news, my wisdom teeth have decided that they would like to be known again, which means i've just literally got to bite the bullet and get them removed.. This july, look out for my pufferfish face. x

Bubbles

I’ve had such an exhilarating day.. just picture yourself indoors, doing university work… going to one lecture… then going back indoors.  Yes, i may have got some progress in my university work load, but the last half an hour i almost went insane. I couldn’t stand being in the library and in the stuffy air and all the sniffing and people who decide that it’s okay to talk on their mobile phones in a quiet area…..

So I had to get outside.

And here I am , sitting outside the library with a chai latte, typing jovially on my laptop. I don’t know what it was- but i feel so much more at peace outside, i had the increasing feeling that i was slowly being sucked in to a narrow minded academia world where people talk like journal articles and reference everything they say whilst listening to ilectures and trying not to check facebook and then trying not to put post its on the person next to you’s divider (which conveniently was my boyfriend in this case)……. You get the idea.

As much as i love studying my subjects (I do genuinely enjoy my subjects this semester) I think i need to make sure I have time to actually enjoy and experience this time in my life, as well as studying. To be honest, organisation and self motivation are my recently introduced friends, so i think i can go overboard with trying to compute everything.

But believe it or not, i’ve actually started doing my assessments early and doing drafts and I EVEN HANDED IN AN ASSESSMENT EARLY! That’s right. You heard it.. Last year i don’t think i handed one assessment in on time… (with 2% or 1 mark penalty a day? !!)

So I suppose i am trying to comprehend this new “emily”- the one who can get organised and can do uni work- with the creative one or any other sense of self i may have held over the last few years. Hmm, maybe BALANCE! would be a useful concept here. And I think maybe everyone else might go through a similar experience- at least in trying to balance all the different aspects of life- and learning how to ‘put on the different hats!’

Do you remember that concept from primary school? Putting on your thinking hat? I remember when I first learnt this concept in year 1 I thought it was fantastic! It was devised by a guy called Edward de Bono  (if you want to check out the wiki article, click here!) For example, if we had to solve a question, we’d look at the different perspectives from the different hats we had on. (We actually had coloured hats, i loved it!) All the different colours meant a different perspective- eg Red was for Emotions and the bad points or judgement was black. In reflection, it taught the class how to consider different perspectives and then to evaluate the problem/question.

So how does this apply? …..

Well, looking at things (aka uni work, sense of self) from these different perspectives. Before you laugh or shake your head, let me explain. Firstly, we should all wear coloured hats. Secondly, I think it’s important to be able to look at situations, who you are, different people, relationships with different perspectives so you can see the whole (or big!) picture. And to also use the analogy to apply to all the different areas of our lives, (eg work, university, social, family, friends etc) and separately they do not form a whole, but when all areas are considered, they form a whole… Me! Or You! (Or physically, a rainbow hat!)

Anyhow, these were the thoughts flying around in my head for this evening. Unfortunately I have finished my chai latte and have to keep it between my legs because the wind keeps knocking it off the table!The sun has almost set, and the clouds are a faded pink… starting to turn into the rich monochrome of the night sky. So I must say goodbye!

Before i do, what do you think about sense of self? Thinking hats? Colours? University libraries??

 

xx

Sunday night

I am trying to decide whether it would be appropriate for me to apologise for my last post, as it is not really poetry related.. However, when I was caught in this indecision, I realised that I quite enjoyed my little science obsession, and therefore seemed appropriate for me to post. Not that I should run around in circles pondering these things and then share them as another post.... but there you go.

My friend Skye and I went to the Sydney Laneway Festival today... and i finally saw my beloved Laura Marling... I was second from the front and she was incredible live! I was slightly disappointed that she didn't go into "The Beast", but nonetheless she was amazing. Apart from the music, I also loved watching the people! The term "rich indies" may be appropriate... My stand out outfit was a girl wearing skin tight black shiny pants which had skeleton bones on them... I;ll post up some photos when i retrieve my camera cord.

Now, I shall retire! xx

Underbelly Fantasy

After watching Channel 9's debut of Underbelly Razor last night, I realised that we seem to be more fascinated by the fantasy or dramatization of history, than the actual facts. I whole heartedly jumped on the band wagon and enjoyed the depiction of Sydney's 1920's underworld, loving the clothes, glamour and suspense- and the lives of gangsters.

But- even though the rival between Melbourne and Sydney may still exist in relation to fashion and cups of coffee  (i admit i am not up to date on the underground scene in modern times)- in reality, how glamorous would prostitution and gangs have been at that time?

When I think about most reactions to the concept of a brothel or prostitution in our society now- or even gangs or drugs - most people stay way clear. But when we see it glorified- somehow it's ok, it's a lot more approachable & accessible, and it's just on tv, right?

Whilst I love the twenties, I think I'm more in love with the concept of it, rather that the reality..

(Just some thoughts ) x

Reunions & Goodbyes

Stumbling through a sea of changed faces can sometimes be exhausting...

Let me explain..

Today I attended a reunion and it made me feel quite uneasy... Not with the people,  but within myself- I think sometimes is hard to acknowledge the change in yourself by your past reflections.

REALISATION ONE: PEOPLE ARE DYNAMIC, CHANGING BEINGS


Old faces change. People loose and put on weight. Get married. Move house. Starts Ti Chi. Discover vanilla lattes.

Every day we move and adapt to our surroundings. How much are we shaped by our circumstances?

Coffee or no coffee? Mood and self regulation. A constant, changing state.


REALISATION TWO: RELATIONSHIPS & EXPECTATIONS CHANGE


If 'self' changes so radically from day to day, from environment to environment, surely anything connected with another 'self' would have to be managed with this in mind.

Do we shrink or grow? Push or shove? Give or take?

If you're stagnant in expectations & self, what are the nature of your relationships?


REALISATION THREE: THINGS CAN GET MESSY


The subheading says it all, really.


REALISATION FOUR: BUT.... DON'T PANIC.


I'm in the same boat as everyone else.

I have stuff, you have stuff, we all have stuff.

Not quite the 'radical acceptance' theory , but it's learning what stuff to keep and what stuff to throw over board.

Which stuff to acknowledge and foster, which stuff to put out with the trash.

We choose the stuff which gets melded into oars and rudder for direction and control.

I choose whether to use the oars and rudder, and that choice governs my direction & communication.


AND NUMBER FIVE:


Sometimes you've just got to go with it.



xx

Bumper sticker expectations..

Save the whales!

Save the trees!

Honk if you're horny!

Magic happens!

I support "Insert community here"

When I am stuck in traffic, I often find the most amusing bumper stickers. Some possibly not appropriate to put up here, and others I just role my eyes at. But there is one bumper sticker that i seem to find so confronting... the ones that disclose that the driver is a Christian- by means of a cross, a fish or one of those "Warning: if rapture occurs this vehicle will be unmanned".

Can you imagine the expectation that driver has put on their driving abilities? And how Christians are perceived to be "Perfect", and to be loving and forgiving, and now on the road? This is one expectation I have known to be quite destructive -  because when I think about it, when I say that I am a "Christian"- I am not declaring that I am perfect. I am saying that I am far from perfect and that I can not do it alone.

Huh. That's a bit different. 

Sometimes I may cut someone off ... or I may forget to indicate. Or may say certain things about certain pedestrians who decide to jaywalk unexpectedly...

But let's look at it another way.

The basics of Christianity- that Jesus, the son of God, died on a cross for the wrong in world and rose three days later and forgave the wrong in our lives- essentially rebukes this assumption. The fact is: I am not perfect and I have stuffed up- and sometimes it is a real struggle to love and/or forgive others in my life who have done me wrong, and when I've done the wrong thing. Especially with driving.

But it's not on me-I do not have to be perfect.

God is perfect- and it's Him working in our lives that makes the change within us that takes us one step closer to be loving.

And who has not reacted by blasting the horn in a traffic jam or swearing at another car who just cut you off?

So, I'm not perfect. Christianity does not equal perfection, but God equals perfection. And this isn't an excuse to get away with anything and everything, but rather an acknowledgement that it's through God's love, grace and His desire to have a relationship with us, that the change starts to happen.

I think my new bumper sticker will be "Warning: Christian driver who does not meet expectations" or something silly along those lines... because I suppose in the end you've got to give people in traffic jams something to think about.

Weekend Winds

You can tell when August is approaching from all these lovely winter winds which start rustling at the beginning of July. It seems to come like clockwork... Weather seems like such an extraordinary phenomenon , in the mere fact it constantly cycles between four distinct states. Unfortunately I have the habit of complaining about it, when really I should be admiring it- that despite its constant daily fluctuations, in the big picture it adheres to a set pattern.

Seems odd really, that something so unpredictable is set in a pattern, and that even though it may jump to extremes every so often, it will return and behave as expected. Four seasons- Summer, Autumn, Winter & Spring.

And yes, this does get me thinking of the metaphor about the "Seasons of Life", but it seems too obvious to really write about it, but it does offer an interesting insight.... That even in our erratic types of behaviour or emotions, the more you look at the bigger picture, the more a pattern is seen, and more can be put into perspective. But are we in the right cycle?

Woaha, it's late...

I haven't had one of these long, staying-up-late-on-the-net moments in a while..! It has been quite exciting having time off and being on 'holidays'. One thing it has allowed me to do is to read... maybe too much... I finally read Shelley's Frankenstein, which was a surprise to read- I was not expecting it to be a moral lesson about chasing after scientific pursuits. And C.S. Lewis!

But what I have really loved is being able to read the bible... the last two months i've managed to get through Romans, Acts, 1 corinthians and now i'm working my way through 2 Corithians and Galatians. It's so exciting getting the full or big picture- so often verses are misquoted and theology is thrown all over the place... it's amazing to be able to see how all the books fit together. Yes, I know there is a way to go !

I think what has hit me the most is the application of living for God after Jesus goes back to heaven. Paul is so passionate about telling people to live through and in  the spirit, not by the old "law". But the plot thickens- Paul was actually someone who was PERSECUTING the early church- and God turned him around- so one of the biggest threats became one of the leading pioneers in establishing and guiding the early church. Wow.  I guess it shows how much God can do through, with, and in us and that it is not by our strict adherence to laws- or do's and don'ts or by our own devices- but through God's grace.

It's really quite incredible..

The trials of dating an englishman...

As I sip my cup of tea, I have just come to the realisation that since I have begun dating an englishman, I have been drinking quite a lot of tea! Before my changed relationship status I was drinking maybe one or two cups a day, now it has sky rocketed to four or five..  so now, I must go and finish this cup of tea!

Coffee

I am quite partial to the lazy Sunday with a good piece of pear and raspberry bread with a good coffee. It all seems quite strange though because I have now officially resigned from my position at Holy Trinity Anglican church as their youth worker. Full time studies awaits me! Quite odd really.